time to quit?

As I have been exceptionally pants at writing on my blog, and I am no longer the wife of an Ordinand I think it's time to quit! Maybe in the future I'll try bloggin again or maybe not! TTFN xxx

It's official- I have one of my own now!!

It's finally happened, Beth has turned 13- aarrgghh!! I am officially mother of a teenager. I feel like it should be a momentous occasion, given her behaviour on some days in the past 2 or 3 years, it's surprising she made it! 13 years ago I gave birth to a bouncing 9 lb 13 oz beautiful baby girl and now she has bigger feet than me, can very nearly eyeball me and weighs half of the amount I do.
What is really scary is how alike we were at this age. My friend Lorna (met at age 11) keeps reminding me when I moan about what Beth is up to, that I did the same things when I was 13! In the early hours of this morning(2.45am to be precise) I had to go and tell Beth and her two friends that the level of noise was unacceptable, they didn't hear me or notice me to start with, they were giggling too much! Apparently they stopped talking sometime between 4 and 4.30am! What they didn't appreciate was how much noise carries especially when they are directly above you! It did remind me of a time when I had a teenage sleepover with Lorna and maybe Rachel too. I had a resurgence of energy about 4am and started doing some impressions including Sarah Ferguson and laughing so much I couldn't breathe. I seem to remember Lorna trying to shut me up with a pillow- so I can't complain about Beth really!

Anyway Beth's friends had gone by lunchtime and we had a fairly quiet day until Lorna and Beccy and their children arrived for Birthday cake at 4pm! We went to Pizza Hut for Beth's Birthday Tea(we can't print out any special deals for elsewhere at the moment 'cos our printer is being very silly and annoying!) which was fine, even though Beth wanted to go to Pizza Express! Until we told her she had to share a pizza with Isaac... She became a teenager in front of our eyes- 'it's not fair, I never get to choose' etc etc She then asked Isaac what he wanted which turned out to be a Hawaiian pizza the same as her, which was all wrong apparently. So she sulked... It turned out all right in the end, especially as she got to share a adult sharers portion of Profiteroles with her Dad!

We came back home and watched a film called 'Meet Dave', quite amusing! At 9.18 pm Beth turned to me and said 'that's it, now I'm a teenager' and grinned at me! At least we didn't have any arguments or strops about belt loops today!!! Don't ask, more random teenage facts another time. By the way, why is it I haven't managed to finish any of the 3 books about teenagers that I bought ages ago??? I'm feeling ill-equipped for the task ahead...

Oh and for anyone who heard me moaning on and on about Beth demanding an I-Pod Nano for her Birthday (does she not know how little the diocese give us to live on??), we didn't buy one, well couldn't anyway. Luckily for her, she has managed to accrue enough Birthday money from everyone else to buy one and even though it goes against my principles, we've decided that she can spend her B.M. on one, pray that she doesn't lose, drop or break it in the first month!
Must go and catch up on lost sleep...

Still alive and kicking...

I have realised how utterly rubbish I am at doing this whole blogging thing. I am currently facing some large 'time-management' issues and do not want to go to bed after midnight again tonight... However I am still alive and kicking (just) and really really busy, but hopefully will find time to catch you all up soon!! This week so far looks like this:
Mon - providing childcare for nearly 3 year old all day/relationship course in evening.
Tues - Coffee with a SPICE friend am / Bible Study with Thirst group pm / Cake Decorating Course eve
Weds - Art Group am / Cooking for Youth Cluster
Thurs - Lead Lent course at SPICE am/ Ridley Communion eve
Fri - Thirst Cafe Church am / Food shopping pm
Phew! add into that at some point cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking, helping kids with homework, ferrying them around to clubs, exercise (said in hushed tones) oh and I'm supposed to be re-starting Psychology A-Level (they've changed to a new syllabus!)I couldn't fit work in! Anyway the midnight hour approaches - more soon!

Not sure what to write...

Have discovered today that an old friend has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and is having surgery etc in February, it seems to me that more and more people I know have had, are recovering from or just diagnosed with some form of cancer. All I can do is pray as I have and still do for others, but feel quite useless and unsure of what to say to her. My prayer list of people who are ill, undergoing medical treatment or recovering seems to be growing ever longer and my prayers more desperate. How as Christians are we to respond to this seeming increase of illness, disease and bad health around us??? I am at a loss for more to say.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

Well, sorry for not blogging for ages. I was feeling that if I blogged it would all come out wrong and depressing, so decided to avoid it for a while! Some have said I should blog however black my mood, but who wants to read that??
Anyway Ridley Term has ended (Praise God and many Hallelujahs)and I have Steve back for two weeks. I was even able to assist him with part of one of his essays at the end of term- shh don't tell anyone!!!

I'm currently reading a book called 'a handful of light' which is an Advent study, I've been trying really hard to read it while eating breakfast 'cos that's quite a quiet time in our house, especially if the children have gone to school already!!! It takes me a while to get into these things, but it's quite a good book- not sure if I'm reflecting on it quite as I should, but hey at least I'm reading something to do with God! I'm finding my spirituality and faith has taken something of a knock over the last term and frequently find myself very dissatisfied with Church and especially worship- which at Ridley leaves something to be desired and at St Barnabas is OK, but I miss St Mary's worship and especially miss singing and playing with 'Tongues of Fire'. In fact I think the teenagers are what I miss most- everyone's so serious around here and there's no-one to lark about with!!
We recently hosted a Christmas party for Steve's Ridley Staircase and everyone was gone after a couple of hours, there's not really anyone we're close enough to have that kind of banter and fun with like some old friends at home. I did have a great night last night with a few other Ridley wives; a meal and sing-along Mamma Mia at one of the other wives house which is in the grounds of Ridley Hall. It was a little disappointing to find out all their hubbies had gone out to the pub together and Steve hadn't been invited, but hey- that, it would seem, is life!

However thanks to my old friend Lorna I joined the St Barnabas Christmas Choir and thoroughly enjoyed the rehearsals leading up to the Carols by Candlelight service which we were due to sing at. The choir was amazing mainly made up of people in their 20's, 30's and 40's and a good mix of men and women and even a guide dog! There was an inspiring blind lady in the choir who had the words in braille and had incredible pitch! On the night I felt quite nervous and excited and it was fab - I sang soprano and reached all the top notes including a few top A's- which in previous years I've found impossible due to sore throats and so having a tonsillectomy last January was the best choice!! We sang a John Rutter piece, a beautiful version of In the Bleak Mid-winter and two gospel songs; one was 'Oh Holy Night' and the other was written and composed by a guy in the choir and involved congregational participation- it was amazing to see the whole Church swaying and clapping and singing 'rejoice'! I definitely want to do it again next year!

It's been a bit weird here this last month because usually by now we're up to our ears in youth service preparations, choir rehearsals, school plays and concerts, Christmas dinners and parties here there and everywhere.Here the children don't have a very active after school life and so there's no rushing around after school and Beth has no involvement in her new school musically, so no concert to go to. Isaac didn't have a play at school, but we did go to his short carol concert last week. So it's all been a bit quiet...
Currently I'm gearing up for Christmas - the tree and other decorations are up, the cards are done and sent, the presents are wrapped and hidden! I've done all the food shopping bar the fresh veg, I've iced the Christmas Cake, I've changed all the bedlinen ready for our guests, now it's just the cleaning and making up beds etc before our first guests arrive on Tuesday! I'm quite looking forward to having the family all here, but know it's going to be an interesting few days of family dynamics!

We've had a few niggles with the house too - a growing brown stain on the games room ceiling indicating a fixed leaky toilet was not the cause as we originally thought (wet carpet near the toilet caused by?? Maybe should get Steve's eyes tested?)The plumber then discovered the grout in our en-suite shower was virtually gone - so some magic gunk and hopefully that's the end of the growing stain! We had a light that mysteriously stopped working, change of bulb made no difference, the electrician fitted a new switch and hey presto we have light in the porch again!! Talking of lights - what is the deal with Christmas lights? How do they go away one year working and come out the next dead as a dodo? I have a garland on the banisters which has some nice pearly berry lights on it - worked perfectly well last time, got it out of the box, plugged it in to check it was OK and it was, but when in situ and plugged in - nothing, nada. So Steve and I fiddled with bulbs, plug fuses etc and swapped bulbs from another set and today Steve painstakingly swapped the bulbs from one set to another until ha had a full set working - but not on the garland?? So bless him he then took off the dead set and re twined the other set around the garland which are now working beautifully!!!! Why does it have to be so complicated??? Sometimes the set of lights on our Christmas tree (which have various funcions) suddenly stop 'slow glow' and go into mental flashing!! Maybe it's just us!!!

So I've survived this first term of 6 at Ridley and I'll admit it's not all been as I'd imagined, some good, some bad. Things look just as mad for next term, but without the whole getting to know you pressure! There are other pressures! I do think that I will struggle financially after Christmas as I'm not working and the nice cushion from Steve's redundancy has gone - it's a huge change for all of us (the children still don't really get it!) and old habits die hard, but new year, new attitude and I pray we'll cope. Well here's to the New Year, I pray for a good, healthy and happy one for all!
Well I need to stop this blog for now and go get my beauty sleep - this Wilkinson family is lighting the 4th Advent candle at St Barnabas tomorrow morning!

The Time Factor

I am currently entering a seemingly strange and bizarre world of inbetweenness (is that an actual word?) I was sitting listening to a sermon at St. Barnabas this morning all about their 5 year vision - which has been the theme for the last 3 weeks. It slowly began to dawn on me that I wouldn't be around for the realisation of that 5 year plan and then felt quite detached from it and switched off from the sermon and my mind began wandering... My entire life here suddenly feels like everything is in limbo. My involvement in anything is not half-hearted, but knowing I cannot fully contribute to any long-term plan is actually quite frustrating. So far I have taken on quite a bit in terms of activities, but don't seem to have as much gusto as in the past.

I am volunteering at Isaac's school one morning a week and I've been on two school trips with them as well! I felt I wanted to do this on several levels - it's good to get to know Isaac's classmates and teacher, I enjoy working with children (hearing readers is not the most stimulating of activities though!)and all experience is good for future career moves! I don't feel really involved though, however I was offered a job this week in Yr 1 as a 1:1 TA(the perfect job) - which is frustrating in itself as it has implications on state benefits and Diocesan grants and might not be financially viable (so I am supposed to have my career in limbo for these two years it would seem!)

SPICE (Ridley Hall Spouses group)in itself is no too bad because everyone is in the same boat, except that some are only here for 1, 2 or 3 years so you find yourself gravitating towards people with 2 years to go - which may exclude some great friendships with others. I have become involved with one of the worship teams at Ridley which is great, but there are many teams and you only get to play twice a term and so doesn't really lead to great bonding with the other team members - maybe it's just early days on that one?

I've also started going to a Cafe Church called Thirst held at Isaac's school on a Friday morning and am planning to join some of them for a twice monthly bible study too, so far it's been different people every week (apart from those running it) so no great chance yet to build relationships.

I am so grateful for my old friends Lorna and Beccy who I have been able to spend time with without needing to start from the beginning, but they already had their lives here and I don't want to rely too much on them, but man is it good when we do get together for lunch or coffee and you can really be yourself again!

I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely and miss my friends back home - people who know me well and understand me!! The frustrating thing is that it takes time to build relationships and time is something I don't have and maybe it feels a little bit false to make friendships too quickly. I think I'm missing having relationships with a bit of meat to them, relationships are skeletal so far. So I've invited all the SPICE members to coffee tomorrow in the hope of getting to know them better! As yet I don't have any new friends who just drop by or who I could drop in on for a chat.

There are so many opportunities here for an Ordinands wife: meeting new people and varied activities to try, but I feel I don't have enough time to see any real fruits from those relationships. It would actually be really easy to spend these two years alone and in limbo - suspended from all normal relationships until we move again in 20 months time. Then I will face the barrier of being 'The Curate's Wife' when trying to build relationships wherever we end up!

I'm off home at 1/2 term where I can be me!

This is life, but not as we know it.

Mmm, well today has been kind of strange. I don't know why, but Isaac turning 9 has really hit me. My baby boy is 9 years old, which as he told me today means he's a big boy now. I thought it would be bad when he turned 10 especially as Beth turns 13 the same year, but no today I felt bereft and even suggested to Steve we should get a dog! My baby, my youngest is 9.... Maybe it's because at Ridley I seems to be surrounded by babies and toddlers and people of a similar age to us who haven't started families yet! I've been feeling quite broody - what is it about Theological college that does that to you?? By the way, just in case you were wondering - no we are not about to have another baby - actually it would be impossible if you catch my drift! Although I do know that through God all things are possible...

So today my little boy had a new bike for his Birthday- which he was very excited about! He was also very happy to receive money from various relatives which he has already planned to spend on Star Wars Lego!! We had a family Birthday Tea at a Chinese Buffet Restaurant called Lucky Star in Cambridge, which was great because you don't have to wait ages and Isaac can have as many puddings as he likes - 4 tonight!!!! On Saturday he has a few friends coming round for a DVD, popcorn, pizza and Ice-cream Sundaes! Should be interesting! I went on his school trip yesterday as a helper which meant I was able to suss out the other children in his class - I managed to persuade Isaac to invite a few girls too!

I seem to have managed to fill up my week completely without even going to work!!! I didn't get an interview for the supply teaching assistant post - they had lots of 'strong candidates' apply apparently. Obviously my credentials weren't good enough on paper! So I have taken this to mean that I should not work while we are here!!! So instead I booked some courses to further my knowledge and education! The Digital Photography course was cancelled due to lack of interest -only 9 applied and they needed 12 to make it worth running! So I have volunteered to help in Isaac's class every Tuesday morning instead! Which is how I ended up on his school trip and next week I am going on another one- this time punting! Their topic this term is water so they're going to see how a lock works and then have a guided punt on the river Cam! Isaac's teacher is lovely- a little scatty, but great with the kids.
Anyway this is how my week looks so far;

Monday am - Cleaning (allegedly!)
Monday pm - Gospel Choir (fortnightly)
Monday eve - SPICE
Tues am - St Philips School
Tues pm - Bible Study (fortnightly)
Wed am - Psychology A-Level
Wed pm - Washing/Ironing
Thurs am - SPICE
Thurs pm - Food Shopping
Thurs eve - Ridley Communion and Supper
Fri am - Coffee with friends and or Cafe Church at St Philips School.

Plus I have volunteered to be secretary for the St Philips PFSA (PTA)and to work on the Worship working comittee at Ridley as the SPICE rep. Also I'm hoping to get involved with the worship team at Ridley, I am meeting one of the Worship Deacons tomorrow so he can show me the Organ in the Chapel at Ridley Hall- I'm quite excited about playing the organ again as I haven't got my hands on an Organ for a few years!!! Ooh er missus! Does still leave me time for Facebook,EBAY and playing flute/piano etc though!!!

Cycling is starting to become a habit, the car does seem to sit on the driveway most of the time. I've got my cycle computer working and it's 2.52 miles to Ridley from our house. So I worked out that if I cycle to Ridley/City at least 4 times a week and with walking Isaac to and from school everyday I probably only need to do one more session of exercise to fulfill my 30 minutes 5 times a week! Actually I've just worked out that just by walking to and from school every day is 120 minutes!So if you're supposed to do a total of 150 minutes a week... Even if I only cycle to Ridley twice a week I will be doing 200 minutes(sometimes longer)altogether, so I'm actually over the recommended amount!!! Marvellous!!!! However I do wish that my heel would heal so I could start running again because it's so lovely and flat round here!Anyway I must go to bed - I'm so tired at the moment I nearly fell asleep whilst hearing readers this morning!