The Time Factor

I am currently entering a seemingly strange and bizarre world of inbetweenness (is that an actual word?) I was sitting listening to a sermon at St. Barnabas this morning all about their 5 year vision - which has been the theme for the last 3 weeks. It slowly began to dawn on me that I wouldn't be around for the realisation of that 5 year plan and then felt quite detached from it and switched off from the sermon and my mind began wandering... My entire life here suddenly feels like everything is in limbo. My involvement in anything is not half-hearted, but knowing I cannot fully contribute to any long-term plan is actually quite frustrating. So far I have taken on quite a bit in terms of activities, but don't seem to have as much gusto as in the past.

I am volunteering at Isaac's school one morning a week and I've been on two school trips with them as well! I felt I wanted to do this on several levels - it's good to get to know Isaac's classmates and teacher, I enjoy working with children (hearing readers is not the most stimulating of activities though!)and all experience is good for future career moves! I don't feel really involved though, however I was offered a job this week in Yr 1 as a 1:1 TA(the perfect job) - which is frustrating in itself as it has implications on state benefits and Diocesan grants and might not be financially viable (so I am supposed to have my career in limbo for these two years it would seem!)

SPICE (Ridley Hall Spouses group)in itself is no too bad because everyone is in the same boat, except that some are only here for 1, 2 or 3 years so you find yourself gravitating towards people with 2 years to go - which may exclude some great friendships with others. I have become involved with one of the worship teams at Ridley which is great, but there are many teams and you only get to play twice a term and so doesn't really lead to great bonding with the other team members - maybe it's just early days on that one?

I've also started going to a Cafe Church called Thirst held at Isaac's school on a Friday morning and am planning to join some of them for a twice monthly bible study too, so far it's been different people every week (apart from those running it) so no great chance yet to build relationships.

I am so grateful for my old friends Lorna and Beccy who I have been able to spend time with without needing to start from the beginning, but they already had their lives here and I don't want to rely too much on them, but man is it good when we do get together for lunch or coffee and you can really be yourself again!

I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely and miss my friends back home - people who know me well and understand me!! The frustrating thing is that it takes time to build relationships and time is something I don't have and maybe it feels a little bit false to make friendships too quickly. I think I'm missing having relationships with a bit of meat to them, relationships are skeletal so far. So I've invited all the SPICE members to coffee tomorrow in the hope of getting to know them better! As yet I don't have any new friends who just drop by or who I could drop in on for a chat.

There are so many opportunities here for an Ordinands wife: meeting new people and varied activities to try, but I feel I don't have enough time to see any real fruits from those relationships. It would actually be really easy to spend these two years alone and in limbo - suspended from all normal relationships until we move again in 20 months time. Then I will face the barrier of being 'The Curate's Wife' when trying to build relationships wherever we end up!

I'm off home at 1/2 term where I can be me!

This is life, but not as we know it.

Mmm, well today has been kind of strange. I don't know why, but Isaac turning 9 has really hit me. My baby boy is 9 years old, which as he told me today means he's a big boy now. I thought it would be bad when he turned 10 especially as Beth turns 13 the same year, but no today I felt bereft and even suggested to Steve we should get a dog! My baby, my youngest is 9.... Maybe it's because at Ridley I seems to be surrounded by babies and toddlers and people of a similar age to us who haven't started families yet! I've been feeling quite broody - what is it about Theological college that does that to you?? By the way, just in case you were wondering - no we are not about to have another baby - actually it would be impossible if you catch my drift! Although I do know that through God all things are possible...

So today my little boy had a new bike for his Birthday- which he was very excited about! He was also very happy to receive money from various relatives which he has already planned to spend on Star Wars Lego!! We had a family Birthday Tea at a Chinese Buffet Restaurant called Lucky Star in Cambridge, which was great because you don't have to wait ages and Isaac can have as many puddings as he likes - 4 tonight!!!! On Saturday he has a few friends coming round for a DVD, popcorn, pizza and Ice-cream Sundaes! Should be interesting! I went on his school trip yesterday as a helper which meant I was able to suss out the other children in his class - I managed to persuade Isaac to invite a few girls too!

I seem to have managed to fill up my week completely without even going to work!!! I didn't get an interview for the supply teaching assistant post - they had lots of 'strong candidates' apply apparently. Obviously my credentials weren't good enough on paper! So I have taken this to mean that I should not work while we are here!!! So instead I booked some courses to further my knowledge and education! The Digital Photography course was cancelled due to lack of interest -only 9 applied and they needed 12 to make it worth running! So I have volunteered to help in Isaac's class every Tuesday morning instead! Which is how I ended up on his school trip and next week I am going on another one- this time punting! Their topic this term is water so they're going to see how a lock works and then have a guided punt on the river Cam! Isaac's teacher is lovely- a little scatty, but great with the kids.
Anyway this is how my week looks so far;

Monday am - Cleaning (allegedly!)
Monday pm - Gospel Choir (fortnightly)
Monday eve - SPICE
Tues am - St Philips School
Tues pm - Bible Study (fortnightly)
Wed am - Psychology A-Level
Wed pm - Washing/Ironing
Thurs am - SPICE
Thurs pm - Food Shopping
Thurs eve - Ridley Communion and Supper
Fri am - Coffee with friends and or Cafe Church at St Philips School.

Plus I have volunteered to be secretary for the St Philips PFSA (PTA)and to work on the Worship working comittee at Ridley as the SPICE rep. Also I'm hoping to get involved with the worship team at Ridley, I am meeting one of the Worship Deacons tomorrow so he can show me the Organ in the Chapel at Ridley Hall- I'm quite excited about playing the organ again as I haven't got my hands on an Organ for a few years!!! Ooh er missus! Does still leave me time for Facebook,EBAY and playing flute/piano etc though!!!

Cycling is starting to become a habit, the car does seem to sit on the driveway most of the time. I've got my cycle computer working and it's 2.52 miles to Ridley from our house. So I worked out that if I cycle to Ridley/City at least 4 times a week and with walking Isaac to and from school everyday I probably only need to do one more session of exercise to fulfill my 30 minutes 5 times a week! Actually I've just worked out that just by walking to and from school every day is 120 minutes!So if you're supposed to do a total of 150 minutes a week... Even if I only cycle to Ridley twice a week I will be doing 200 minutes(sometimes longer)altogether, so I'm actually over the recommended amount!!! Marvellous!!!! However I do wish that my heel would heal so I could start running again because it's so lovely and flat round here!Anyway I must go to bed - I'm so tired at the moment I nearly fell asleep whilst hearing readers this morning!